You can’t give what you don’t have. 

After all, if we are thirsty, but have no water and someone asks us for a drink what do we have to give them? Certainly not water.

The same holds true for just about everything else, whether we are talking about respect, love, abundance, happiness. If we don’t have those things, then we can’t possibly give them. And without having what we wish to give others or ourselves, we are holding an empty bag.

For example, those who are leading the loud criticisms, false narratives and hatred targeted at the Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift relationship believe that their criticisms and conspiracy theories are reflecting poorly on the happy couple. But instead, their hate and derision are speaking volumes about the relationship they have with themselves. The backlash focused on the couple who are simply enjoying what appears to be a supportive and loving relationship is proof just how sad and miserable it is to not be able to be happy for the happiness of others. Those propagating ridiculous false theories and criticisms toward the couple and their happiness are holding an empty bag. 

But, if you can’t give what you don’t have, and you aren’t happy with your own life, then you can’t really feel happiness for anyone else. Happy people don’t trash other people’s joy. People who are committed to creating goodness in their own lives openly celebrate that in other’s. Happy people know that when others are happy, fulfilled and satisfied, instead of decreasing or limiting what is available to them, it creates more for everyone. Happiness and love aren’t pie. There aren’t limited slices of any of it. We create love, fulfillment and happiness within ourselves, and those things expand when we share them with others. In the same way, our disrespectfulness, hatred and jealousies are also expanded when sent out into the world. 

Recently, I mentioned Swift in conversation with a young woman who dreams of being a singer/songwriter. The young one, sniffed derisively and informed me, “Taylor Swift has no talent.” Really? Hummm. Well, Swift has received 650 awards for her singing and songwriting, including two recent Grammy statues to add to her dozen others. I doubt my young friend has done that well for herself – yet. That’s why it seems like a more beneficial path for a young wannabe to feel and express gratefulness for all the doors, ceilings and opportunities that Swift has helped open for other women and performers in general. This young woman’s comment says nothing about Swift’s formable talent, but it does shine a glaring light on her own insecurity and jealousy. 

We’re seeing a lot of that ooze out of our culture right now, aren’t we? And it says nothing about Swift or Kelce, their talent, or about anyone else. However, it says everything about the speaker’s relationship and feelings about themselves.

So, maybe those who are professing that Swift is talentless, or that there is some insidious reason for her relationship with Kelce, should stop spewing negativity and their insecure hatefulness for a minute and look into the mirror. If they have the courage to look closely what they will likely see reflected back is their own unhappiness. If so, then they are fortunate to also be looking at the only person who can do anything about that. Happiness, like love and satisfaction, are inside jobs. Only we can make ourselves happy.

And only then can we truly be happy for someone else.