When I’m writing, or working on any creative project, and it’s going well I frequently disappear and something other than my intentional, thinking mind begins to flow. I attribute all my good ideas to this flow, that I call The Team. All my bad ideas are still mine. But I would have shared many more of those bad ideas without The Team coming to my rescue with a good idea, the perfect turn of phrase, or a punch ending I could have never conceived by myself.
When The Team shows up my job is just to follow along, which I do with varying degrees of success. Sometimes I’ll feel The Team wanting me to write when I’m doing something else. If I try to ignore the urge, I soon feel a yelling in my head, “Aren’t you going to write this down?!” That’s when I scurry to my computer and open to allow The Team.
And that’s what happened a couple weeks ago when I was drawn to pick up my pen and notebook and The Team was ready to begin. But, my first question was:
WHERE do we begin?
At the beginning.
Now. Now is the only place we can ever begin. It’s all we have, so the most perfect timing is always Now.
So, let’s begin…now.
I may or may not stay on a specific topic. Like your life, our conversations are unpredictable and may stubbornly wander all over.
But, I know you love that. You love wandering, surprising, interesting conversations. You truly love everything about a good conversation, don’t you?
Even the difficult ones.
I do. It’s really the biggest reason I have to spend time with other people. I want to hear, to know, their stories. It’s when I love and appreciate them the most, and it’s when I find it easiest to tolerate them.
Yes. You are definitely here to communicate. You are a storyteller. You will be our scribe. But you will rediscover your passion, your calling in writing, in telling stories in the process.
You’ve noticed it lately, haven’t you?
How good it feels to write? To lose yourself in the writing again? How you feel uplifted, happy, connected when you know you are writing from your heart? There has even been bliss lately, hasn’t there?
Yes! It has felt like coming home. I want to continue reconnecting to my Writer Self and to you! I know it now as Joy Fuel.
Yes! That’s the alignment you study when you listen. That’s resonance with your Soul. With your Soul Path. And it really is a path. Even if you wander off of it, you will always have opportunities to rejoin it. You are never really lost. You are either on your path or on a longer path. You can trust that. You can know that.
You’ve followed your path well throughout your life.
You have not followed convention. You have created a fun, interesting, unique life. It hasn’t always been easy. There have been some ups and downs, some roads closed and bridges out. But you kept going.
And you grew. You became stronger, more flexible, more understanding of the transience of life.
But don’t see any of those challenges as being “tests”. Those challenges weren’t exams you had to try to pass. Those were opportunities to flex.
And you did.
I’m trying to take in that I’ve actually done well for myself. Thank you!
You’re doing it yourself. We’re here. But we’ve always been here. We have always wanted to reach you on this level, but you weren’t ready to let us in yet. You’d let us in a little ways, but with the rush of “good” you became scared and backed away. You do that with people too. But we see you changing that and feel you ready to let good in.
I know I do that, and I am trying to shift it. I really do want to let both good and people in. Well, some people – a few good people, anyway.
Good! Seeing, recognizing is the first step. I know you’ve heard it a million times, but you truly do have to KNOW you are worthy of being loved. It’s a lie to believe anything else.
Here’s the truth: you can’t know squat about love if you don’t know yourself as love. Yes, “as love.” Until you see, feel and experience yourself as love, you aren’t fully you yet. Because you ARE love.
Love of self isn’t about being loved. It is about being love. When you are love – when you are randomly appreciating the magic of evening light, the morning lilt of bird song, the crinkle of your best friend’s eyes when they smile, you are being who and what you genuinely are. You are being your truth because you are your Soul’s best version of you.
We love that you call it your “Joy Fuel”. That’s good. Being Love is like the gas in your car, isn’t it? You can make the exterior of the vehicle sparkle, but until you put gas in it, you can only get so far.
Fill yourself up and then see the places you can go!!
Dive deep. Find your center. Your heart space.
Be there. Be fearless. Swim around in it. Splash it everywhere. Drink all you can hold. Wash yourself clean of any lingering doubts, regrets, mistakes, foibles, disappointments – all of it. Be Love.
Then, when you’re ready, start back with your pockets full of YOU.
Well done!! I really feel ya right now because my mind turned on because my body thought it was 8am but the wall clock said 3am. We have traveled more time zones physically this time than ever before so I feel the disorientation. But, you are absolutely correct about us all always being in the Now, even if we perceive our self lost in the detour. Like you write, all of our human experiences, from the great to the bad, in any form- are the blooming of our flower. Each step, whether painful or joyful brings us more deeply into the direct experience of the vastness that we are.
We are quite literally infinite Love, the very flow of life itself. To share this recognition and acknowledge it in each other is the ultimate consummation. The very living Friendship. We glimpse the Divine moving through and realize we are this divine, while simultaneously being human. All is as it should be, naturally. Right now, right here we are completely whole and holy, finite and infinite. We circle back around and see our self anew, over and over, forever. We surrender to the stunning beauty of this incomprehensible Love, and just drink it all in, while we swim in it.
You just said it all above and I give you a resounding second!
Peace and Love,
All Love to you!!