“Lou Ann! Wake up!”

What the… What’s going on?

“Come on!! Wake up! I want to talk to you.”

Who ARE you?  And how did you get in here?

“You know me by many names, but most people call me God. I know you don’t care for that name because many humans have made it so patriarchal. But I am also Goddess, as well as LoveBeautyJoy, Spirit, Inner Being, but you can just call me Mabel, if you’d like.”

Really? God/Goddess – Mabel? You’re here? Talking to me? 

“Of course, I am. But the really surprising thing is that you are finally listening.”

Well, you did yell loud enough to wake me up.

“Yeah, I know you’ve been dealing with a lot these days and I have some time so thought I’d check in and see what’s on your mind.”

What isn’t on my mind? But this virus, this Covid-19, is always somewhere in my head or heart. I’m concerned about what’s going to happen with all of this. We’ve never been through anything like this and no one has any idea what might be ahead. And even when it’s over, if it ever is, how do we move forward? There is just so much we don’t know and can’t even imagine. The uncertainty is overwhelming and so worrisome and scary. I feel paralyzed a lot of the time. Stuck in the muck of fear, sadness, isolation, and loss.

“So you believed before this virus created a global pandemic that you knew what was going to happen in the future? You honestly believed you had control over future events? If this is true, I feel as though I’ve failed you somehow.”

Well, I usually felt like I had a general idea about what was coming and that, if I nurtered positive thoughts, kept an optimistic outlook and held my mouth just so, that things would work out. But this is showing me otherwise.

“Good! You humans need to loosen your belief that you are in control. You aren’t. The only things you have any control over are your own reactions and responses to what unfolds around you. However, the majority of you appear to not be interested in controlling that which you can and prefer to focus on the things that are completely out of your control – like the weather. How many floods, tornadoes, hurricanes and other natural ‘disasters’ do I need to create before you realize most of life outside your physical costume is also outside of your control.”

So, I’m just supposed to trust that everything’s going to be okay? That I won’t get sick? That my heart won’t give out? That our economy won’t completely crumble? That all of those unemployed will find safe shelter and sustenance? I’m suppose to trust that we’ll all make it through the isolation, the risks and the fear that often feels like it is so enormous I can’t hold it in any longer.

“Then let it out! Let it out!  Let the fear out, because it’s only smoke and mirrors. You can believe in illness or you can believe in well-being. It’s really your choice. You get to decide what F.E.A.R. means in your life. Does it stand for Face Everything And Rise or Fuck Everything and Run? That’s one of the lessons with this. You get to determine how you navigate this unknown territory. But, remember, no matter how this plays out for you personally, you will grow and you will go through it all with me at your back. There are always lessons to be learned. Why else would you have created all this chaos?“

Wait? I created this situation, this disruption to our lives?

“Well, not you personally. You had help. Honestly I don’t find many of you humans very gracious houseguests. You do realize, don’t you, that you are basically my guests here on this planet? It’s time to acknowledge that and return to the days when your species practiced gratitude and respect for the land and her creatures, including other humans. It is the long history of taking your quarters and blessings for granted that altered the DNA, if you will, of cooperation I originally created in the Universe. You all have behaved like spoiled children who have grown into vagrants and ingrates. I had to do something drastic to get your attention, so I put you all on “Pause” so you could think about what you’ve done. It’s time to realize how much you have in your lives that you take for granted, how irreverently you treat each other, and how disrespectful you are to everything around you. Do you not realize that every thing – EVERY THING – on your life path is a gift placed there for you? Why do you not treat it so? My hope is whatever lessons you may be experiencing, will help each of you make some serious changes before you destroy yourselves along with everything else good and beautiful.”

That’s a lot to take in, but I know in my core what you say is true. But, I still find it difficult to trust that we will be okay in this. It’s too much. Too scary. And you just admitted that this is to teach us a lesson. How can I trust that that lesson won’t be too difficult for any of us to pass?

“I assure you, you can indeed trust that whatever happens you will not be alone. Okay, I saw you roll your eyes when I said that. But, just think about it, you’ve not only survived every lesson, every challenge you’ve been given so far, but you have truly thrived as a result of the process of doing so. Even in the times when you felt most fearful and alone, you found strength inside of you and helpers beside you, didn’t you?”

Yes. That’s true. When I was quiet enough, or scared and confused enough, to reach into the space inside of me or to pull up adequate courage and humility to ask for help, I did find whatever I needed to navigate whatever I was facing. But all these lessons! Why do they always feel so big, so overwhelming and require so much from us?

“Maybe because you don’t learn from the easy times when everything is going your way? Even in your personal relationships the real growth, the times when the relationship moves forward, when you learn something about yourself, someone else or humans in general, are when things aren’t going so smoothly. You learn most when challenged. These times require you to look inward, to find your center and to define the kind of person you wish to be and the kind of relationships in which you are willing to invest your value. This also is a good time to evaluate and improve the relationship you have with the natural world. Even the isolation of this time is useful. You are missing your loved ones and appreciating them more. You are realizing how much freedom you had and how you took that for granted. You understand how much sound, texture, touch and even love you missed by creating such busy lifestyles with overflowing calendars and to-do lists. Taking some forced stillness has opened you so you can hear, not only my voice, but also yours. This is a time to discover, and become, the human you most wish to be.”

Sounds like this is a turning point in our shared humanity.

“I think that’s an accurate conclusion, with emphasis on “shared”. This is a time when individual decisions will add up to Global change and that change can go either way, so choose wisely. There has never been a time when individuals had so much responsibility for each other, and therefore for the world.”

I hope I’m up to the task.

“You are. I believe in you. But you might want to get a little more sleep. You’re looking rather old and haggard these days.”

Funny.